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The Most Shameful Remakes In Film History
19 CommentsEveryone knows that Hollywood has run out of fresh ideas. It seems like every other movie coming out is a graphic novel adaptation or a classic remake. Here’s a list of the worst.
It isn’t just that studios run out of ideas and remake these classic films, it’s the fact that for the most part they’re horrible films.
Psycho
This one is quite simply an insult to cinema. The original film is regarded as one of the best and most influential films of all time and the studio execs decided, “hey, I know. Let’s remake it!” A true tragedy.
The Day The Earth Stood Still
Whenever I see a new remake coming along, especially one of a ultra mega classic, I always say it better be the best remake ever made. The saddest thing about this remake is that even if you haven’t seen the original film, this one is still a piece.
The Manchurian Candidate
A film that offers nothing better than the first. The original film takes place during the cold war and the communist scare. It revolves around a soldier that was captured and taken to Manchuria, in Communist China. There he was brainwashed by the communists and placed in a position that would eventually lead him to become a Presidential candidate (the Manchurian Candidate to be exact), and in turn become POTUS under Communist control. So how in the world would a modern remake that has no references to Manchuria be called The Manchurian Candidate, you ask? Well, that’s easy. Instead of the Communists trying to have control of the White House, it’s a super evil weapons manufacturer called Manchurian Global. Get it? Cause he’s the Manchurian Candidate. This film belongs in the times of the Cold War. Without it, the film has no context whatsoever.
Point of no Return
This remake of the French film La Femme Nikita (where did you think they got the name for that horrendous TV show based on a movie based on a film?) is monumentally better than the remake. If you have not yet seen it, please do yourself the favor.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I remember the first time I saw this film; I was still in High School with a bunch of friends over at my house. They had to leave early, about mid-way through the film. I walked them to their car and when I returned I was unable to go into my house for about 10 minutes I was so freaked.
I remember seeing the trailer for the remake and actually anticipating the film, thinking, “hey, that doesn’t look so bad. Sure, it’s got Jessica Biel in it, but who knows?” Boy was I wrong.
The Nutty Professor
You know what one of the best things about Tropic Thunder was? It was its ability to make fun of other films. The Nutty Professor, and every other multi-character-playing Eddie Murphy film. The original film was sweet and funny, the remake was silly and slapsticky.
Other shameful remakes
The Invasion (aka Invasion of the Body Snatchers)
Planet of the Apes
Rollerball
The Time Machine
War of the Worlds
Solaris
Vanilla Sky
Rest assured that if Psycho and other classic films were remade already, films like The Godfather and others will surely also be remade. God help us. There are countless other films that belong in this list, so please feel free to point them out in the comments and say why the original is so much better.
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19 Responses to “The Most Shameful Remakes In Film History”
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I would have to disagree slightly with the movies you chose. I’m a fan of the new Texas Chainsaw, War of the Worlds, and Planet of the Apes. Other then that I would have to say I agree. Nice list.
Hey, if you tell me that you’ve seen the originals to all those movies and you still like the remakes, I can’t argue with you.
I really liked Vanilla Sky – maybe not as good as the original, but Cameron Crowe did a good job. Tom Cruise, despite being a loon, is in fact a good actor, IMO.
Great soundtrack, great casting, and well directed..
I completely agree with your list.
Just must add
“The Wicker Man” (the one with nick cage)
What an infamy
What about the remake of Day Of The Jackal? Bruce couldn’t hold a candled to Edward Fox.The remake is such a joke. Also the Perfect Murder a remake of Dial M for Murder. Please no more Hitchcock remakes. Hitchcock, if he’s not the greatest director he’s awfully close.
The Manchurian Candidate is an awesome movie dude, your fucked up, not only do i think your a piece of shit but a worthless human being in general. Eat shit , and die
Thank you for reading my blog. Any chance you can tell me why “The Manchurian Candidate is an awesome movie dude”?
Really you want someone to die over a difference of opinion on a movie?
Halloween (2007).
How the heck could you overlook The Vanishing, a travesty perpetuated by the same director as the original!
I would add:
Black Christmas (2006)
Children of the Corn (2009)
The Eye (2008)
Fame (2009)
The Fog (2005)
Godzilla (1998)
The Longest Yard (2005)
Poseidon (2006)
Rollerball (2002)
The Stepford Wives (2004)
The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 (2009)
When a Stranger Calls (2006)
Oh, and John, please learn the difference between your and you’re.
Hi Dave,
Thanks for the contribution. I agree with you, all these should have made the list. Especially When a Stranger Calls and The Eye… Japanese horror films have a special place in my heart.
I liked the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre; while it’s not as good as the original, and it pretty moves goes off the rail in the last 10 minutes or so, for me it remains decent when compared to most current horror movies. Also, one could argue that TCM itself is not wholly original since it seems to bear a resemblance to Three on a Meathook (1972) and Deranged (1974). 88 keys on the piano…
your slightly off on your synopsis of the Manchurian Candidate. The son is brainwashed to kill the Presidental Nominie at the Conventionduring his speech,allowing his step Father a buffoon of a Vice presidential canidate to run for president and because of a carefully crafted speech made at the moment of the shooting would became president then a puppet dictator controlled by his wife. But the son is De-brainwashed by a fellow soldier now Intelligence officer(played by Frank Sinatra) and instead shoots his step Father and the is traiterous coniviing, overbearing Mother. then he shoots hiumself over the guilt of Shooting his Mother,(and earlier in the film his wife and his Wife’s father who oppossed the step father) by the way I like your list and agree with it. I agree with adding Godzilla 1998(Oh god the Horror,the horror!)
I agree broadly with much of the above. I have mixed feelings about War of the Worlds – it was much more true to the book than the George Pal version but should have been set in 1900 or thereabouts.
My theory is that there are only two good reasons for doing a remake: 1) The original did not reach its full potential whereas a remake might, e.g. The Thing (From Another World). 2) The original was based on a premise so potent that a good film maker could do a new take on it without diminishing the original or slavishly copying the original story, e.g. Dawn of the Dead. Oh, and shades of the Spanish Inquisition sketch, I’ve just thought of another one: 3) The original was done in a foreign language and setting, but would work well in a local setting and in English, e.g. Ring – and, perhaps, Let The Right One In.
And my addition to the list: The Haunting (as in the adaptation of Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House).
great list, couldn’t agree more on the Psycho remake. there is not logical way to even support the remake. being a shot for shot remake takes away any suspense. we know whats going to happen, I don’t even get why it was allowed, the original was so amazing because it did alot of movie “firsts” first movie to show a woman in her undergarments, first movie to show a toilet being used, and first to show a woman in the shower. it was so powerful in that it threw the audience off. they were in “shock” by those little parts that they were distracted about the killer until BAM the killer arrives. today, we have seen it all. full frontal nudity, graphic violence we are desensitized. plus the actors were just horrible picks.
one remake i would add would be I Am Legend. i liked Will Smith but was really unimpressed with the “vampires” and the “twist”. the original twist and vampires were much better and the whole role reversal idea was just a really great twist yet in I Am Legend it came off more as a zombie movie.
The Nutty Professor remake is actually one of the better remakes. In some ways it’s even better than the original.
The Death at a Funeral remake should be added, only cause it’s the most ridiculous thing ever to be remade: the original was released just 3 years ago, the original was in English, the cast or the remake are mostly black for some reason, it directed by the guy who did The Wicker Man remake, it has one of the exact same actors from the original movie, jokes look the same only with added unfunny dialogue, could go on and on.
I mostly agree with your list; however, I think you should remove Manchurian Candidate and instead bump Planet of the Apes up the list.
I’ll explain why I liked the Manchurian remake. First of all, I doubt anyone can argue that the acting wasn’t top notch–Denzel Washington, Jon Voight, Meryl Streep & a very underrated performance by Liev Schreiber as the tormented hypno-freak. I assume your objections to the Manchurian remake are based on the heresy of tampering with the original.
Fair enough, but I think the point was to take a dated Cold War story and use it to say something topical about today. In particular, the latest political ‘evil’ in the world seems to be coming from corporations. Who knows if it’s true (much like the threat of ‘evil’ commies) but the fact is we’re becoming increasingly concerned & skeptical toward the Halliburtons, Blackwaters and miscellaneous oil companies that seem to be making huge profits from war.
The Manchurian remake did a great job of fitting this classic story into the new context I mentioned. It’s a reflection of the times, just like Cold War paranoia was a reflection of the Kennedy era.
OK, there were a few really stupid things, like the stupid “microchip” (why didn’t they throw in a “flux capacitor” while they were at it), and I thought the romance angle was a little out of place. But I think these were just minor distractions. The main idea was to comment on how vulnerable the political process is to big $$$. I think the remake did a bang up job about that.
Oh, one last thing… I also liked the Solaris remake better than the original, but that’s just me. I was never too keen on Tarkovsky’s indulgent, 20-minute closeups of pond scum and highways. I mean, we’re not that dumb–we get the picture Tark! Let’s move along with the story. The Solaris remake cut out all the fluff and gave us a movie which, true, wasn’t as artistically challenging, but at least it didn’t come across as extravagant.
OH DUDE… STOP THE PRESSES… I just thought of one you *have* to put in your list ASAP…
“City of Angels”
Wim Wenders is turning over in his grave, and he’s not even dead yet.